She had a history of killing herself
I had a habit of dying
I think she gave me something to live for
I guess I helped her pass the time

And I had a vision of seeing things straight
She had the heart of a liar
I never saw her leave me once
She never felt me beside her

It's cruel but she's got a good hold on me

there is no point
in homework.
there is no point
in relationships with people.
there is no point trying to tell someone
that they cannot replace himheritthem.

you cannot replace people. people are people and you cannot replace people.
you will never be to me what she/she/she was.
I had you both and now that they're completely gone and everything's different, everything's different.
this is how it is, this is how I am.

I mean
nothing
to you. you do not need me
don't care about me
scrutinize everything I do
and am.
I do not matter to your everyday.
I hate myself
my life is going nowhere
there is no point in trying

it all leads to End.
Death.
why do we prolong small agonies just to die?
your life is over the second you know
you are going to die.

you are going to die, I am going to die,
why should I stick around for the process
of elimination?
the low grades?
the rejection letters?
your fucking face in the hall smiling?

I want to fucking rip out everything you love
so you fucking understand
you awful vindictive people
and nothing is working and it won't,
there is no therapy for the damned
no words you can say because I do not believe
anything you have to say.
I care too fucking much about you

and I can't fucking listen to the silence anymore
I can't deal with no one needing me and no one caring
how much I fucking need them.

I fucking hate
hate
hate
hate
hate
all but one. two. three.
I hate you three and I hate your stupid fucking pictures

I am ‘Minority’
in every sense of every syllable,
I am the ignored society
at it’s very, very best.
Just because there’s one of me
doesn’t make me mute.
I’m a self-made piece of eurotrash –
left un-capitalized by false niceties
and an overabundances of
hyphens-dashes-dottedlines -
personal definitions/aspirations.
Longitude and latitude don’t come into play
in my definition.
I am an Atheist,
not an Existentialist, but close and admiring,
so I must sacrifice puppies
and blindly suffer through my life
just to go
straight to hell
[left un-capitalized by false niceties, etc.];
I have nothing to believe in
so I must be sarcastic,
sadistic, insensitive, silent.
Just because I’ve forgotten how to smile
doesn’t mean I have no one
who wants me to remember.
I am Depressed,
I am Female,
I am [obviously] Menstrual.
I don’t even have to go into this one,
or do I?
I am a Packrat
because I fall in love with objects,
old objects, vibrant in color;
fire-engine red water carriers,
teal blue gas lamps,
white stereo headphones and
mint green typewriters –
anything truly beautiful and
so not in my reality.
Just because I’m in the wrong decade
doesn’t mean I’m not ahead.
I am a Poet,
a crafter of words and complex
sentence equations.
An Editor, an aspiring Publisher –
a Wordsmith, a Music-smith –
I am Jailbait and a Figment
of your imagination.
Just because I’m your spawn
does not mean I’ll ever let myself
be anything like You.

I wish you could claim music.
I'd never let you touch her.

I hate that she exists to you.




endd.

g-g-g-Golly Sandra!
You've grown up really crazy..
Have I been too denying of you?



My teeth hurt. They had to replace a bracket and Rosa likes to lean all her body weight on each individual sore tooth.



g-Golly Sandra!
You've grown up so crazy,
Have I been too untrusting?



Slept it off because that was ow. How do you miss two calls when your cell phone's in your hand?



Well I guess I have should have been around to sing you to sleep
You look so beautiful...
It hurts me slightly



I don't know what today was. I feel horrible I had to leave you in math.



Oh, you my scar,
and that's not really far.
Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey